Pages

Monday, August 6, 2012

Focus on Positives

I've been thinking a lot about positive vs. negative attitudes.  I tend to lean more toward having a positive attitude even in stressful or difficult situations.  I do realize, however, that it is quite difficult to stay positive and I even struggle with it sometimes.  Someone asked me the question the other day: "Do you stay positive even in bad situations?"  My response was, "I'm human."  I think some things are bad.  I think sometimes life hands us lemons.  I think sometimes the way things are just flat out stinks!  But I also answered that in spite of these initial thoughts, I cope with negative situations by looking at positives.

For example, I have a dear friend who recently shared concerns about potential health problems.  Rather than get lost in how bad the idea of having major health issues can be, I cracked a joke about it with her.  Granted you can't do that with everyone, but our friendship is such that she knew what I was doing.  Humor is one of my ways to turn a negative into a positive.

Studies have shown people who have a more positive attitude generally recover from surgeries, illnesses, etc more quickly and heal better than those who don't.  How do you tend to view things in your life?  Are you dwelling on how bad things are?  Are you thinking your life couldn't get any worse?  Or are you on the opposite end of the spectrum, thinking how wonderful everything is?

There is no right place to be.  It is different for everyone.  For me, somewhere in the middle, but more toward the positive side of things is the right place.  Reality is that sometimes things are bad, but after that initial reaction, it is time to think about the good things, how to make things better, moments of gratitude, and so on.

Let's say, for example, you have an argument with your spouse/significant other.  What could possibly be positive about that?  Well, for starters, what about being together to even have an argument in the first place?   Many couples are not in that position.  Too much of  a stretch toward positive????  Ok, ok.  Think about how to handle the situation in a positive way.  Is yelling and screaming helping?  Probably not.  A positive step is to get yourself calmed down (yes, that means never mind what they are doing - at least for right now).  Now what? Do you need to walk away for a moment? Do you need to listen a little more? Do you need to say something with a bit more clarity?  Thinking about these things and responding appropriately are all positive steps.

Keep in mind you don't have to do it all at one time, you don't even have to get it right.  Working in the direction of a more positive lifestyle is a good step.

What things do you do to stay positive?

No comments:

Post a Comment