From I Can't to I Can

In my group room, I have a cutout of a headstone with the word "Can't" on it.  This is to symbolize that the word "can't" is no longer available for us to use.  The word "can't" implies that you lack the ability to do something, when most of the time, it is the ambition or motivation or desire to do something.  I encourage people to say "I don't want to" over "I can't" (or better yet, switch to "I can"!)

There are many reasons we use "can't": fear, mood changes, anxiety, lack of knowledge or understanding, and so on.  We have to address these issues if we want to make a switch to "I can".  That's not easy to do sometimes.

Let's use an example: say I want to open a new business but have no experience in this area.  Fear can easily take over: What if I fail? How will I pay the bills? Will anyone use my business? It is much easier to switch to "I can't" because then I don't have to risk these things happening; I don't have the ability to start that business if "I can't".  But let's say I recognize that fear is holding me back.  What should I do to deal with that fear?  I could talk to others who have done this before. I can plan a little longer. I can take some new courses at the local college or trade school.  Then when I have more information and understanding about running my business, my excuse is no longer "I can't" but either I can go forth or decide that I don't want to.

The key is to address the problems that are underlying what you are thinking about - the fear, uncertainty, motivation, etc.

What have you been telling yourself you can't do?  How can you change it?